Guilty

It's been awhile since my last post. I am now 25.5 weeks along. I have had one fetal assessment and happily discovered we are having another girl (a boy would have been great too). Everything is progressing well with the cervical stitch and I have started a medication to inhibit labour. I have another fetal assessment tomorrow. I hope we get better pictures this time to share with everyone. (I didn't think people would be too interested in my daughter's brain!)

Ben has finished both of his exams and I already have him hard at work transforming our office into Aryana's new room. Last night he packed up our books, moved the computer, bookshelves, desk and emptied the closet. It always amazes me how much you can pack into a little room. Now our dining room is our office and the basement and our master bedroom closet our storing stuff. It will be really nice when our basement is finished.

Ben has been very busy studying these past few months AND working extra for his dad to help make up for my loss of income AND helping care for Aryana AND helping me maintain the house AND working overtime for Regent AND he still finds time to play with my hair to help me relax. He is currently shovelling the driveway and he has drawings to take off from waiting for him on our kitchen table.

I have been told to try to be the laziest person in the world by my obstetrician to help prevent an extremely early birth of our second daughter. I am really struggling with this. No matter what I do I feel guilty. I know I need to take it easy to protect my baby but how do I do that with a very active almost-2-year-old? If I play with Aryana (like take her to the park) I feel guilty because I could hurt the baby with the extra lifting, climbing and pushing it entails. If I don't do a lot of stuff with Aryana I feel I am neglecting her. I also feel guilty that Ben has to pick up all of my "slack". He already works more than 40 hours a week at Regent and then he has to come home and take care of me and Aryana and all the "extra" stuff I ask him to do (like preparing Aryana's room and we DESPERATELY need to clean our carpets). Ben would NEVER complain, I think you all know how hard Ben works, but I still feel bad. I know it's only temporary but I really like to get things done on my own, when I want (I'm not a very patient person), and I don't like to depend on everyone else. Only 9 more weeks to go.

Aryana is so full of like as my mom would say. My Nana has nicknamed her "Bam Bam". I couldn't think of a more appropriate name for her! She is SOOO strong and gets into everything. She wanted to help Ben unload the groceries the other day the first thing she went for was the 9 pound box of mandarin oranges! And she actually lifted it!

Aryana is speaking a lot. Her favourite thing to do is announce every person that enters the room. It's really sweet actually. It sure makes everyone feel special to have their name announced with glee by Aryana. She can say, "Uncle Chris lives in Minneapolis" but she still calls my mom "Beyah Beyah" instead of Grandma. It's pretty funny.

I don't know if this story will seem funny in print but it was hilarious. My brother, Chris, was in town a couple months ago. He was trying to play with Aryana by hiding under a blanket. This just seemed to spook Aryana instead of being fun. Yesterday my mom asked Aryana if she wanted a blanket because it was cool in the basement and offered Aryana the same blanket Chris hid under. Aryana forcefully said, "No! No! Uncle Chris!" and pushed the blanket away. We could not believe she still remembered being scared of Chris under the blanket.

Kittens are her favourite animal. She absolutely ADORES two stuffed kittens I bought for her. She is an animal lover in general. I have to kiss all the pictures of animals in her books, she gives them kisses too. We took her to Ben's boss's house in October and she loved the horses, dogs, chickens, chicks, and rabbits. She had no fear of the giant horses smelling her and sticking their noses in her hair! But she was NOT happy when we put her on a horse to ride! Aryana is so much fun and certainly keeps me on my toes!
Aryana eats all the time. She will do ANYTHING for a marshmallow. It's pretty cute to see how excited she gets but not when it leads to a melt down. I tried to use the marshmallows as a reward for potty training but that backfired. Potty training is on hold for now, she flatly refuses to sit on the potty. She has always hated getting her diaper changed so I'm trying to use that as motivation to try the potty more. We'll see.

Surgery Update

Well, as most of you know I am pregnant again. I am currently 17 weeks along and feeling pretty good. I had my cerclage on Wednesday, September 8. The surgery went well without any complications. My only complaint is that I didn't get an IV sooner. I was totally dehydrated and feeling crappy because I was fasting so long. When my resting heart rate was 125 beats per minute lying down, the nurse just said I was nervous. Well, if you're nervous you're blood pressure would INCREASE, mine was 80/40 lying down. (Normal is 120/80) I've had enough surgeries and procedures that I know how my body reacts I just wish people would listen to me. I sure hope I never make my patients feel stupid, they know their body the best. Then after the surgery when my heart rate was still 125 I asked the nurse to increase the flow of my IV (I know they can do that). She just told me to drink more. I was drinking water (slowly) but when you're that dehydrated if you drink a whole bunch really fast you will just throw up. I learnt that in school (and my body would tell me), don't they teach that to nurses too? I work with nurses everyday and some of my friends are nurses and they do a great job. Why do I always seem to get stuck with ones who think I'm an idiot?

Anyways, the anaesthesiologist was fantastic. When I told him it was difficult to put an IV in me he actually listened. He even put a local anesthetic in my arm before inserting the needle. It was the first pain free IV I've ever had. The worst was when I had my last cerclage and the nurse inserted it into my hand. It was burning and painful the whole time it was in and my hand hurt for days afterward.

I thought I would be able to work but when my doctor gave me a 20 pound lifting restriction my boss told me I cannot work anymore. At first I was panicked because you need 600 hours to get maternity leave through EI and I had only 570 hours. But after a little more research I discovered those hours include paid vacation and sick time, so I squeaked by with 604 hours.

I only had 2 weeks left of a term position I was filling. I was pretty upset that I couldn't finish it. It was nice to be working with my friends again. Now I'm with Aryana all the time. And...I LOVE it! She is so much fun and hilarious! She is picking up words so quickly. Today she even pooped in the potty for the first time!!! I'm not really pushing the potty training but I introduced her to the potty yesterday. She loved to sit on the potty and carry it around the house so I assumed she just thought it was a new toy. Well, I guess she somehow made the connection about what it was for. Who knows, it could totally be fluke and she won't do it again for months.

She says quite a few words and is even starting to pair words together. For example "daddy, bye bye" to say daddy went to work, "light off", "all done", "all better", "bee bum" when I'm supposed to change her bum. She will also say please and thank you without cuing (some of the time). She is also really tall for her age, past the 95th percentile at 87 cm (~34 inches) and is average weight at 26.5 pounds.

I really enjoy being a stay at home mom. I like to go to work sometimes but she is such an easy girl, busy, but easy. I don't know if I'll still feel like this when I have 2 kids running around but I am really enjoying my time with Aryana now. It's much better than when I was on mat leave because we own a second car now so it gives me so much more freedom. I just feel bad that I can't take Aryana to the park by myself anymore because I'm not supposed to lift and bend too much.

I have an ultrasound this Tuesday. It's at St. B so we won't be able to find out the gender unfortunately. The success of the stitch will be assessed. If there is any funneling or dilating I will be put on bed rest again. I REALLY hope that doesn't happen because I don't know what will happen about taking care of Aryana. So, just praying everything will stay tightly closed!

Oh yeah, I can do sedentary work so if anyone knows of a part time office job please let me know!

Summer Videos

Summer Holidays

Matlock: Aryana's first time at a beach. She didn't like it very much.
Assiniboine Zoo: Aryana was mostly interested in all the people. The animals were just lying around, they were too boring to keep her attention.

Tinkertown: We thought we would start with something easy...the train. Apparently it was too slow for Aryana, she was just trying to climb out the whole time. She LOVED the carousel.
I love this picture because it looks like Ben in squished into the helicopter all by himself!

Birds Hill Park: Aryana enjoyed the beach more here.

Grandma and Pa-Pa's House (she calls grandpa Papa): Aryana LOVES to play in the kiddie pool.

Life is going to get BUSIER

A lot has happened since my last post. Ben and I enjoyed 2 weeks of holidays. My Aunt and Uncle were generous enough to lend us their cottage for a few days. It was fun. We took Aryana to Tinkertown, Birds Hill Park, and the Zoo. It's refreshing to see things through her eyes. Everything was so fascinating to her. This past weekend Chris, Karen (brother and sister-in-law) and Michelle (sister) were in town for my mom's 60th birthday. I was FINALLY able to give my mom the quilt I made (which had been in the works for 2.5 years). And we got to share some great news...I'm expecting again! I'm due at the end of February (again).

There are a few stressors. I need to have the cervical cerclage done again. The surgery should be at the end of August, beginning of September. I haven't seen my obstetrician yet. I really hope I don't get put on bedrest again because if I do it'll be really difficult to take care of Aryana and pretty stressful financially too. I need 600 working hours to get employment insurance, if I go on bedrest at the end of August I'll miss the cut off by 30 hours! It would be really hard to live solely on Ben's salary. So, I would like to ask for prayers that the baby is healthy, the surgery goes well and that I won't have to go on bedrest again.

Also, due to a miscommunication (I'm trying to be respectful), I did not get hired for a maternity leave but to cover a short disability leave. So I'm out of a job at the end of August. I am still working every second weekend at Concordia Hospital and I had an interview for a casual position at St. Boniface Hospital. I haven't heard back yet about that position. The job market for physios is BRUTAL. I'm seriously thinking of a new career path. I'm tired of scraping together scraps to make ends meet and working with private practice managers. I can safely say (unless I am desperate) I will never work at a private practice clinic again.

My frustration with my career is one reason Ben and I decided to try for another baby, I'm so much happier at home. I enjoy watching Aryana learn new things and explore her environment. It's so much more refreshing than listening to people complain ALL DAY. I am content to maintain our household (although it's in shambles right now).

Ben has also been busy working on our basement. We will need the extra space when our baby comes. I would also like to ask for prayer for Ben, that he doesn't stress too much. Not only will we have the financial stress but he is building our basement, he still has 4 courses to take, his full time job (which is more than full time) and taking care of Aryana. I know he's a hard worker but that is still a crazy work load.

Well Aryana is awake. I'll post some pictures and videos of her soon.

Happy

You know what I love most? Wherever I take Aryana whether it be the supermarket, the park, church, the mall etc. everyone says, "Wow, she's sure happy!" Aryana has the best smiles (especially for the boys) and she is very sociable. I love her personality and watching it develop!

Tea Party

Ben and I have had an eventful May. Ben's parents had an open house, his Oma and Opa and Grandparents were visiting from Ontario, Chris and Karen were in Winnipeg from Minneapolis (although we missed them because I was working), Ben wrote 4 exams, a few prospects have developed with my work, I took a course on exercise prescription for people with osteoporosis, planted flower beds and vegetable garden (which may have washed away with the storms) and of course Aryana is keeping us on our toes!

Aryana is understanding more and more. Fortunately, she says "yeah!" instead of "no" so far. She loves to play outside, which makes all these rainy days a little difficult. The best thing about the rain is the humidity, it makes Aryana's hair SOOO curly! She is very curious and never sits down. She loves to push/pull her wagon/stroller/chairs/tables/toy lawn mower etc. She has even pulled ME in her wagon, which makes me think she has her daddy's strength.

Below is a video of Aryana and I having a tea party.